Day 1

I'm sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the most important appointment of my life. This appointment will be the key to my survival. When he comes in he asks me what I'm here for. I reply with, "I'd like a prescription for ant-abuse." Before my eyes even fill with tears of relief, he hands me a Kleenex.

I did it! For the first time in my life I finally admitted to a health care professional, without being court appointed, that I have a big problem. I think I like the idea of e-AA because I am held accountable for my day to day actions. It forces me to practice integrity daily.

So ever since I decided to quit for good, everything I see or hear reminds me of alcohol. It's kind like when you become pregnant and every woman you see for the next 9 months in a 10 mile radius is also pregnant; and you never noticed a pregnant lady in your life before. You could also compare it to when you get engaged and you suddenly become a clarity expert and notice every ones carat size comparing it to your own. I'm sure you get it by now. I've got alcohol on the brain.

Do you ever notice how much alcohol they pound down on the Today Show? My God! I don't think I can take it if I hear Willard announce that some 110 year old Smuckers birthday lady attributes her longevity to one cocktail a night. This is how my big day began.

It's one thing to ask a doctor for a very serious drug that disables your liver's ability to metabolize alcohol, hence making your deathly ill if you consume a drop; it's another to go to a small town pharmacy to fill the prescription. You should have seen the looks I got from the assembly line of drug dealers disguised as small town housewives behind the glass. Despite the stares I walked around shopping and then I made my way to the card section, or as I call it, a relapse waiting to happen.

The first card that caught my eye was a 'get well soon' card. The picture on the front has woman lying in a hospital bed and the IV bag is an upside down bottle of Gin. WTF! As I walk quickly out of the 'aisle of temptations' the pharmacist calls me over. "Have you ever taken this medication before?" What kind of question is that? What do I look like, an alcoholic? Did I mention a withdrawal symptom is loss of memory?

Speaking of memory, the first pharmacy I went to said it will be ready in 10 minutes. I anxiously walked around the store and when I came back the pharmacist says with a megaphone, "The only ant-abuse we had in stock expired so we had to throw it away." Great! I'm the only alcoholic in this town in the last century. This day just gets better and better.

It's evening now and instead of having a cocktail I wash dishes, do laundry, clean my room, closet, my daughters room, bathroom, upstairs, downstairs, van, car, refrigerator, and still have time for 'Cougar Town'. How ironic that tonight Jules decides to quit drinking wine. Her friends have an intervention because they all want her to start drinking again.

I've come to the conclusion that everything for the rest of my life will remind me of alcohol. Thank God I didn't name my daughter Morgan like I had planned back when the 'Captain' first came out.

Day 1 was a success and I look forward to tomorrow. I can do this! We can do this!