Day 22

CRAVOMETER:  0
TODAYS MOOD:   Content

HOMEWORK:  Compliment the one you love

My thank you notes and daily compliments ideas from yesterday’s post required too much space so I’m keeping three of the 5 additions. Sorry dad, I broke two of your rules with that last blog. I should’ve KISSED and never ASSUMED. For those of you who don’t know, KISS is short for Keep It Simple Stupid, and you’re never supposed to assume because it can make an ASS out of U and ME. I was making this blogging way to complicated and I assumed people were just sympathy reading and commenting.

Another thing I wanted to change about my posts but decided against is putting a ‘title with description’ on each post to sum them up. That way if it’s a topic you are not interested in, you could skip it and save yourself the time reading it. The only problem with that is writing comes from the heart. My blogging is random and spontaneous and honest. I just sit down and let my fingers go on autopilot. You are going to hate me but I cannot help it…….”Writings like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna geeeaat.”


When I first quit drinking the hardest part was the cravings. I should’ve had the cravometer then. It would’ve been back and forth and moving like crazy. I’m picturing an old compass. When you first turn to new direction, the arrow swings from East to West and wobbles back and forth and just when you think it’s not working correctly, it settles in at North and you’re on your way in the right direction again. What’s that fingers, you have a story to tell and you cannot hold back? Okay here it goes….sorry Dad.


Sobriety is like a compass, your mind is steered one way and then the other and just when you think you want to give up and relapse, you straighten out and take the next brave step in the right direction. This takes me back to childhood where I should have learned a very important lesson but instead I just have a funny memory I would like to share.


In grade school we went on a fieldtrip overnight to an educational camp called Lake Beauty. It was a beautiful lake nestled in the woods surrounded by bogs, tamarack forests, and deep woods. It was truly God’s country. The whole class went. There was a lodge and a few bunking quarters. The girls stayed in one cabin and the boys in another. They were actual log cabins filled with bunk beds and cots. Each day, we were assigned a task or mission. They were meant to make you learn how to survive in the wilderness and as a team.


The first lesson was ridiculous, or so I thought at the time. They paired us up with classmates, handed us each a paddle, and pushed our canoes out onto the lake. Our goal was to do a lap around the lake and get further instruction when we got back. There were always ‘incentives’. As a kid incentive meant, on your mark, get set, GO! I could hear the gunshot go off in my head. “Come on Pam! We can do this!” “Paddle!” As we canoed in circles I could feel my blood begin to boil. The boys were half way across the lake already thanks to the frickin’ boy scouts and we’re going in circles! All the girls were either going in circles or tipped over frantically swimming to shore then bawling because the water was frigid. It was October in Minnesota ya know.


I grew up on a lake. I knew how to paddle and steer a canoe, I knew how to slow one down or speed one up. I couldn’t take it. At that weak moment in my life, I learned how to delegate. “Quick! Put your paddle in the canoe and hold on!” Did you know water becomes a solid when you have a destination. The first couple of paddles feel like you’re pulling the canoe with an elephant across the land. With determination, each attempt gets easier and easier and you are suddenly cutting glass across the lake. When you get up to an incredible speed you pull your paddle in and only rotate occasional swipes when you feel the canoe slowing down. We were gaining on the boys! You should’ve seen the fear in Pam’s eyes. Canoes are a little scary at first. Getting in the vessel is a challenge to begin with. Once you finally get in, it’s just you and the lake. The canoe sinks down and you are literally sitting below the water and your upper body is above the water. You become part of the lake. I guess now I can see why she may have been a little intimidated. After all, I was the captain and she was my mate which means her back was facing our destination and the camp counselors were getting smaller and smaller the faster I went.


She must have been praying for a miracle, because all of a sudden the sky opened up and the biggest snowflakes I’ve ever seen in my life started falling slowly from the sky. It was the first snow fall of the year! My favorite! It was one of the most beautiful things I will never forget. The lake had a wall of Norway pines as a border. The reflection of these 40 foot wonders almost met in the middle of the lake, and because it was snowing the sky was white and overcast. The giant fluffy snowflakes were falling onto the lake and the reflection looked like the night sky full of stars twinkling. The flakes were so gigantic that went they landed they took a couple seconds to melt. This gave you enough time to appreciate the symmetrical mapping of each flake. God was amazing.


Pams prayer was answered as every canoe was still and there wasn’t a ripple on the lake. We all were paralyzed by this wonder. It suddenly stopped and the race became a peaceful ride back to the shore. Something was happening at Lake Beauty, something big. It was at that moment in time Mike decided he was going to become an explorer and canoe for a living. Pam decided when she got home she’d take swimming lessons and go on and become an EMT. The girls on shore shivering like drowned rats told themselves they would never go camping, and would only stay in hotels for the rest of their lives. I myself was only thinking of the next mission. I had a huge surprise no one in the history of this camp had ever seen.


You see, I had older sisters that had been to Lake Beauty before. They had told me horror stories to try to scare me but little did they know they were just preparing me. They gave us a pack of hotdogs, three matches, and compass. A camp counselor took us way out into the woods, and our goal was to get back to the camp safety. We had a map with the compass as our guide. With the forest towering us there was no way to see camp, and the forest was too thick to let the sun be our guide. It was very scary. There were three of us in every group. One would be in charge of lunch and carried the matches and the hotdogs, one held the map, and I was in charge of guiding with the use of a compass. This is where I learned how the compass works. It almost psychs you out every time. It was a skill. You had to have a steady hand.


When we got about half way through the map, we stopped for lunch. This is where I became a legend.


To be continued...