Day 16.5

Going to jail is one of the most humbling experiences. Sitting in the back of police car with cold heavy handcuffs around your wrists and your hands behind your back is one of the most vulnerable and angry positions to be in. They put the cuffs on extremely tight so you cannot escape. The back seat of a police car is actually a hard plastic. They are like this so drunks and crack heads who have urine and puke on them don't stain the seats. They probably get every bodily fluid imaginable in those cars and just hose it down at the precinct when they're finished. Going down th bumpy road without a seat belt and cold metal handcuffs digging into the skin of you wrists with your knuckles scraping the hard plastic seats behind you is what I call the 'drive of shame'. When you go through town everyone looks and stares and wonders what that scum of a criminal did this time.

When you arrive at the jail they put you in a room with a female officer with purple surgical gloves. They make you undress in front of them then put your arms up in the air. They do a head to toe search which includes under your breasts and they must feel around you private parts to make sure you aren't confiscating any weapons or drugs. You then follow them naked to the clothes room and they pick out what you are going to wear for the next day, or month, or year. You receive large cotton stained brief underwear. They have fraying elastic bands and some small holes surfacing. You get a sports bra that has no support because it's been worn my thousands of inmates and is worn out so bad it doesn't even shrink when you dry it anymore. The woman at a county jail all wear one color scrubs and the men wear another. You get one pair of socks and a slip on pair of shoes. The rubber on my left shoe was worn right through at the pad of the foot.

They take any clips or rubber bands out of your hair and after they've dressed you down and degraded you, they send you to take your mug shot. You stand at the X and they give you no warning and snap, they take one from the front. An officer turns you to the left and steps back and snap, a quick one from the left. The officer jumps in spins you around again, and SNAP, your beautiful photos are complete.  Once your photos are taken they take your finger and hand prints. Then they escort you to the suite. I actually like this cell. It's a holding cell they use until they have a room ready for you. There is a small sink and a stainless steel toilet bolted to the wall. There is no bed. There is a huge Plexiglas picture window so the cell can be monitored at all times by the reception desk. This is the most privacy you'll receive during your stay, so enjoy it while it lasts. This observatory period is probably when inmates are the most disruptive and angry. They yell and scream at the officers. They probably threaten to hurt themselves. It's a great concept if you think about it. Not only does it wear the inmate out, but this behavior would never fly in the actual cell block with other inmates.  Once they decide you are not a threat to your new community, they give you a bottom sheet, a top sheet, a scratchy wool remnant of fabric they consider a blanket, and a 1' by 2' plastic covered pillow. You also get a little 2" toothbrush, a black comb, a mini tube of toothpaste and a mini hotel bar of soap.

When you enter the cell block, you pray it's 'lock down' time to avoid the daggers from everyone's eyes. Lock up time is when everyone is in their cells. If it is not lock down, the inmates gather in the community room area. This area has tables and chairs that are bolted to the concrete floor. There is generally a television and microwave. You can tell who is severely mentally ill, depressed, or a rookie in jail. These inmates stay in their cell for days and cry. They cry and wait, cry and wait. It's depressing because they are usually rocking back and forth in a fetal position but no one will answer their cry. The sergeants don't get a shit if you’re crying or hanging yourself, as long as you aren't disrupting any other inmates. A brawl in the cell block would mean the sergeant would actually have to lift a finger or work.

You then pray you don't have to share a cell. If you share a cell, you pray you get the top bunk. This is like the 'window seat' on a plane. It's the only connection you have to the rest of the world. It doesn't make the trip any better, but it allows you to have a sense of what's going on outside. It makes the ride a little less Closter phobic; until you have to use the bathroom. Flights and jail are very similar. I'm sure someone who flies a lot would agree with me.

The cell is usually 8' by 8' and there is a stainless steel toilet, sink and mirror. The mirror isn't a real mirror, but a polished stainless steel. Glass can be used as a weapon you know. You don't get a clear reflection of yourself on the polished metal but that's probably a good thing. The bed is a slab of metal protruding from the wall and there is a 3" thick hard plastic mat covered in plastic-like a ring worm infested gym wrestling mat covering it.  After you make your bed you get to meet your roommate if you have one.

I had the pleasure of bunking with a 46 year old woman who had killed a man on a motorcycle while on a 14 day methamphetamine tweak. Have you ever heard the term 'you are who you hang around'? This is and exceptionally painful truth when you are in this position. It's a good thing however. You think of how it could’ve been you that killed a man while drunk driving.  It's a hard realization when you become an equal in jail.  In county jail you are all the same, you are criminals. 

She had this homemade calendar she made with a count down on it. She'd wake up so excited to cross a day off. She was only in for a year. A year and a day sentence would've put her in prison. How depressing. One little day and she would've been in prison. Prison is much better than jail. I don't know from experience but I've heard from real criminals who have been there. At first I was upset that she only got a year for taking a man's life, but after being in there a couple weeks, I felt so bad that she had months to go.

When you are in jail, you are on the county's watch. At 7 a.m. you hear the sound of metal unlatching and clanking. This means your cell is unlocked and it is breakfast time. Once again, you can tell how long they've been in by their eagerness to eat breakfast. If they run out half dressed and begin inhaling their breakfast, their pretty seasoned. If they take they're time and come out with their hair combed and dressed, they're on day 3 or 4. If they stay in their cell and cry, they're either mentally ill, young, or on day 1 or 2. At first the cries echoing off all the steel and concrete are heart wrenching and haunting. It's like hearing your baby cry and not being able to get to it. There's the hungry cry, the no one will comfort me cry, then the scary I want to die cry. The are all very disturbing. They cry and rock back and forth and refuse to eat and think the jail will just eventually feel sorry for them and let them out. No one cares. You'll never get out. No one will ever respond to your cries. You grow up fast in jail. You eventually get used to the sound of the cell block.


Breakfast usually consisted of a hard boiled egg, a little elementary school sized carton of milk, an 8 ounce plastic mug of kool-aid, a box of generic corn flakes cereal, and a piece of toasted bread. They don't have condiments in jail you see. There is no butter or jelly, there is no sugar or brown sugar, and there isn't hot coffee or latte. The meal comes on plastic stackable Rubbermaid trays. Some days you get oatmeal instead of cereal. These days are dreadful. Hot oatmeal creates steam which is moisture. Stackable plastic tays create a seal. When the moisture from your oatmeal is trapped with your toast, it not only rehydrates and untoasts the toast, it makes it soggy. If you don't get to breakfast quick enough, you can physically ring your toast out to add a little moisture to the glue like slop they call oatmeal.

After eating breakfast you have about 2 hours until the next lock down. You can watch television or stare at the wall. If you've been there long enough, you've probably been on a fieldtrip to the library. This is nice because then you may have a book to read or a puzzle to put together with a minimum of 5 missing pieces. You try to stay as busy as possible to distract your growling stomach because breakfast wasn't enough to last until lunch a 12.