Day 26

I’m starting out today by answering the questions from my comments from Day 24. The ’11 good years left comment’ was just me doing the math on my lifeline if my ‘life’s purpose=death’ theory were true. I’m not the greatest at math so maybe just ignore that part of my post. The ‘end of my journey’ comment was also a part of that whole theory. Don’t worry Big Sis, there are no crazy hidden messages or meanings by that.



I should probably elaborate on my theory a little bit. I have buried many loved ones for my age. I remember every detail of every wake and funeral I’ve attended. My first wake was when I was a very little girl. My great grandmother died of old age. I can replay the entire thing in my head like it were yesterday.


My second funeral wasn’t until my senior year in high school. There was a big party out in the country. On their way home from the party, my classmate and his brother hit a deer. They pulled over and my classmate, who was a hunter, went to drag the deer out of the middle of the road so no one else would hit it. At that very moment, another car didn’t see him or the deer and hit him. He was killed right in front of his own brother. The funeral is etched in my memory. Many people wore blaze orange. He didn’t even look like the boy I knew in the casket. Although they tried hard to stitch up an mend his face; you still couldn’t recognize him. It was very sad.

The next funeral was also extremely sad. A second cousin of mine became sick with spinal meningitis that turned fatal. She died very suddenly. It happened so quickly and even the Mayo Clinic couldn’t save her. It was unexplainable and heart breaking


My husband and I were both friends with another classmate who died suddenly while driving with his fiancé. One minute he had his finger in his mouth pushing on the hole that once housed his freshly extracted wisdom tooth, and the next minute he was dead. The invitations had been sent for the wedding and the wedding shower had already took place. This was one of the most depressing wakes we had gone to. The line was longer than I’d ever seen. This happens when the good die young. I will never forget how his mother and fiancé had to be drugged because they were both hysterical. His fiancé was almost giddy and high from the tranquilizers that helped her make it through the wake.


Then a little after high school another friend who loved life, fast cars, and even piloted his own planes, died in a tragic crash. He died doing what he loved, but unfortunately didn’t see the deadly corner ahead. He was loved by so many. I still think of him often.


The hardest death I will never understand was that of a friend of both me and my husband again. My husband worked with him for awhile and we were all friends and partied often too. He was the life of the party and a great guy with a young son and a brand new baby. In fact, the night he was murdered he was celebrating the new birth of his son at a downtown bar with a few friends. He somehow managed to upset a bouncer who was pumped full of steroids and he tackled him and choked him and took his last breath. This steroid freak was so angry he sucked the life right out of our dear friend. The ambulance came but it was too late. The weight of the bouncer and the amount of time he was unconscious had killed every brain cell until he was a vegetable. He was brain dead and in a coma and God finally took him and his family out of their misery and took him home. I am still so angry at piece of sh-t bouncer that won in court and didn’t have to sit one frickin’ day in jail for killing our friend. He will rot in hell one day. He will pay. My husband and I live near his grave and go by it often. Why did he have to go? How can any monster get away with this? Last I heard he is still working as a bouncer. Who would hire that murderer?


These are just a few of the young friends we’ve lost. This doesn’t even put a dent in our death toll. My husband has lost two grandmas, a grandpa, three uncles, two of them were also dear friends who we think of every day. I also lost close family as I lost two grandfathers.


My friend recently lost her dad who lost his battle to esophageal cancer. He was so young and left behind so many wonderful family members. Again, these are only a few deaths I have at the top of my head. These are funerals and wakes of people we actually knew and loved and miss. There are many other incidences were we were involved as support to the family of the deceased.


Every time I walked into that funeral home, every time I approached another casket, every time I hugged family members in a sympathy receiving line, I asked myself why. Why me, why us, why them, why him, why her, why so young, why so tragic, why now! I finally decided that there has got to be a reason these amazing people were taken from us. I’ve always believed everything happens for a reason, so I needed to find that reason.


So this is how my theory came about. This is when I decided that God needed them more than we did on Earth. This is when I came up with the idea that these people had clearly found their purpose here on Earth and were no longer needed. They could go serve their purpose in heaven now. I created this belief to cope with horrible losses that were otherwise unexplainable.


To all we have loved and lost, please rest peacefully with the Lord.